We all want to be liked, loved, be well received and respected by others. However, if we harbour grudges and want to exact revenge, can we be the person who glorifies our Father?
The first reading is a timely reminder of the main ingredients found in sin – pride, resentment and anger. We must not allow anger to seethe and overtake us. Forgiveness is ever so important for it is the life’s blood of a Christian community. Admittedly we cannot live together without upsetting one another, unwittingly or even deliberately. Hence, in real forgiveness a relationship becomes stronger and in forgiving others our own sins are also pardoned.
How do we react when someone else takes the parking lot we’re about to pull into? Jesus says in Mark 12:31 that the second most important commandment is “You shall love your neighbour as yourself”. In a similar vein, Sirach 28:2 “Forgive your neighbour the wrong done to you; then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven.” We are to be patient with one another, forgiving and merciful; showing compassion as our benevolent Father does and as exhorted by the Psalmist today.
This is reiterated in the second reading when Saint Paul calls the Romans to live in Christ and allow Christ to live in us. Surely goodness is manifested when we see Christ in others.
In today’s Gospel reading, Jesus is asked the limit of forgiveness. Well, is there a limit?
In the Old Testament, we think that revenge is proposed by way of an “Eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth” (Exodus 21:24). These laws were necessary to act as a deterrent in escalating disputes so that there was order in the community. You can only exact vengeance with a limit.
St Peter thought that he was being magnanimous when he asked Jesus if he had to forgive someone who had wronged him up to seven times, seven being considered the number for fullness and completeness. Jesus’ answer was even more radical – “Not seven, I tell you, but seventy-seven times.” What Jesus meant by this was not 77 times, but that we must always forgive – forgive without putting any limits, without counting the number of times. From a pure human standpoint this may seem impossible, but if we consider our relationship with our heavenly Father, we must recognize that, in fact, our Father is forgiving us constantly and unconditionally. If our Father were to use this earthly yardstick to measure our own forgiveness, we would end up being lost and spiral into a vicious cycle. Our Father’s measure of forgiveness is the point of reference.
The 77 times is not an upper limit that is placed on how many times we should forgive someone. Far from it. It is endless and ongoing. Love does not keep a record of wrongs. Rather, beneficence must prevail. On the other hand, when we forgive, we must also be willing to be forgiven. When we apologise to someone and this apology is accepted, we must not turn around and take to task someone else who has wronged us. However, we can have it out with that person. In Matthew 18:15, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.“ Similarly in Proverbs 15:31, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”. Forgiveness is a grace for the one offering it and also for the one receiving it. Just as we seek pardon, we must also pardon, be kind and merciful.
So when we get upset with that someone for taking that parking lot and in a moment of folly, put a scratch to exact revenge, we ought to remember that revenge is NOT a dish best served cold. Forgive from the heart, so that your heart may grow beyond your knowledge. Mercy cuts deeper than forgiveness for it penetrates to the core of the heart of the other person. It encompasses compassion and healing. Shakespeare’s words resonate, “Mercy is twice blessed – it blesses him that gives and him that takes”. Mercy born out of compassion cancels a debt like the one referred to in the parable. The forgiveness that our Father gives generously must in turn be given freely to others by us even if it is not immediate.
We must let go of our treasured grievances and resentments from our heart not just our lips. For surely another parking lot awaits.
Charles John & Ruben Rajendra