As I sat in front of my laptop and listened to the homily of Pentecost Sunday, I began to sense how the apostles must have felt after seeing their Lord, their friend, their mentor, tortured and killed. It reminded me of the ache in my heart when I realised, while on a short pilgrimage to celebrate the Feast of St Jude in Johor many years ago, of how distraught Mother Mary must have been to see her only son, suffer and die. It brought tears to my eyes. It was a similar empathy I now felt that Sunday morning for the apostles. I could sense their fear and their distress as they gathered in the upper room. Something I had never felt before.
Yes, they were afraid and when the Advocate came, they were fired up to go out and tell the Good News. And as I ponder this, I cannot help but think that they were not alone. They had each other too.
The Quiet Epidemic of Lonely Catholics
Many people today believe religion is a very personal thing. It is between you and God. In Marcel LeJume’s article on ‘The Quiet Epidemic of Lonely Catholics’ (catholicmissionarydisciples.com), he discusses how we are also meant to have a relationship with the Church! He says we need both — Jesus and Me + You and Me. The problem is when we leave one relationship out, we miss something. Without Jesus, you miss everything. Without community, you miss the fullness of Jesus and what love is like on this earth.
In John 15:12, Jesus said ‘This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” Do you know anyone who does not feel this love? A friend dying from a terminal disease once told that it is okay to die as not many people would miss her. I do miss her. Loneliness can make one feel in despair and in spiritual desolation. Are you the lonely singleton who sees her peers married with kids but you are not? Are you the lonely addict hooked on Korean dramas and Netflix? Are you the lonely man who has realised that you can count the number of friends you have on one hand?
One of Marcel’s strategy to build real community is to have intentionality in our relationships. It is going to be uncomfortable and involves taking risks. You are going to invite people to go deeper with you in the relationship and they might not respond how you want them to. However, we can’t continue to just paddle on the surface. We have to be patient with the process of getting to know each other, building trust, sharing vulnerability, having intimacy, then being accountable to one another.
We can look to Jesus for guidance. He spent a lot of time with folks, grew the relationships, challenged others, held them accountable, let them fail, forgave them, gave them real opportunities to minister to others, etc.
We need to do the same. And indeed, He did not leave us orphans.
Karen Roberts-Fong