I remember that a few years back, when I was still an undergraduate, I received the news that a teacher who had taught me at Junior College had passed on. I had briefly bumped into her at the university’s library just a couple of months shortly prior and in our brief conversation, I understood that she was in the midst of completing her PhD from Boston College. She was someone who was extremely generous and giving with her time and with us. I remember that she once treated the entire council and friends to a dinner worth a few thousand dollars at a particular restaurant. Nonetheless, as students, we would often poke fun at her, for the way she taught was often eccentric – she had built up a persona that was loud, and liberal. She was found dead alone at home, three days after she had died. Her sister had sensed that something was amiss when she did not return her calls, and upon checking on her, found it that had been already three days after. The funeral Eucharistic Celebration was held at the Church of the Holy Spirit. She was a Catholic.

More recently, it was shared by some parishioners of my workplace that a friend’s daughter, aged 17, who was a high-flyer at an elite local all-girls’ school in Singapore had commited suicide. We were shocked by the news.

In America, suicide rates of the age group 16 to 64 spiked 34% between 2000 and 2016, while among the age group 10-24, the spike was 50% between 2000 to 2017 (Farrow, 2019). Closer home, statistics provided by the Samaritans of Singapore (n.d.) tells us that 400 lives were lost to suicide in 2019, and of the demographic, the most vulnerable were from the ages of 10 to 29. Males accounted for 66% of the suicides in Singapore in 2019. (para 1.) While the statistics from the Ministry of Social and Family Development (n.d.) revealed that there are at least 1000 cases of attempted suicides in a year (para 5.) These numbers should set our alarm bells ringing. 1 life lost, is 1 life too many.

There is a prevalent societal attitude that receiving help for mental wellness and health is taboo, and for a very long time, Singapore Society, via our upbringing, has been taught to “man-up”, “suck it up”, sweep our feelings under the rug, or to simply ignore what has been causing us distress. Risk variables include: adolescents who have been influenced by the entertainment world’s recent glamourisation of suicide, persons with a family history of suicide, persons who have witnessed a suicide, a history of depression, mental health issues, poor health, despair, rigidity in thinking and issues with adaptability and coping, impulsivity, distortions in thinking, lack of religious affiliation and support, and lack of access to mental wellness and counseling resources.  Dynamic factors include peer pressure, intoxication from alcohol or other substances, an abusive relationship at home or at work, being a victim of trauma and abuse, the aftereffects of stress. These should be monitored closely for their heightened risk of suicide. Acute factors indicate a potential immediate red-alert risk –  these persons tend to joke about or vocalise a plan for taking their life, and having access to instruments of self-harm. A behaviour that does not necessarily lead to suicide, but is a good indicator, is the presence of cutting scars – the person may slash themselves either in places that may be seen or on hidden parts of their bodies. This is sign that the person may be thinking about suicide, or trying to draw attention that he or she may be crying out for help.

Another fallacy that is perpetuated is that when we raise awareness about the issues of suicide, people are more inclined to do so. This is a falsehood. On the contrary, raising awareness opens up channels for a person who is seeking help or feeling lost to get medical, psychological, and clinical help.

The Church’s teaching is that, “Human life is sacred because from its beginning it involves the creative action of God and it remains for ever in a special relationship with the Creator, who is its sole end. God alone is the Lord of life from its beginning until its end: no one can under any circumstance claim for himself the right directly to destroy an innocent human being.” (Catholic Church (n.d.) (a)). Continuing:

2280 Everyone is responsible for his life before God who has given it to him. It is God who remains the sovereign Master of life. We are obliged to accept life gratefully and preserve it for his honor and the salvation of our souls. We are stewards, not owners, of the life God has entrusted to us. It is not ours to dispose of. (Catholic Church (n.d.) (b))

2281 Suicide contradicts the natural inclination of the human being to preserve and perpetuate his life. It is gravely contrary to the just love of self. It likewise offends love of neighbor because it unjustly breaks the ties of solidarity with family, nation, and other human societies to which we continue to have obligations. Suicide is contrary to love for the living God. (Catholic Church (n.d.) (c))

2282 If suicide is committed with the intention of setting an example, especially to the young, it also takes on the gravity of scandal. Voluntary co-operation in suicide is contrary to the moral law.

Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide. (Catholic Church (n.d.) (d))

2283 We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives. (Catholic Church (n.d.) (e))

Suicide is a grave sin. Yet current societal attitudes say that people can do whatever they want with their lives. This gives people the wrong idea that suicide is acceptable and even desirable to escape life and its pains.

At the heart of this is the pressing question, where is the Community in all these? Where is the network of help and support? Are we actively outreaching to our community?

Some actionable steps for ourselves and if we know anyone who may be suffering from suicidal ideation:

  1. Mind: Support is crucial – it is good to check in regularly with a mental health, counseling, or social services professional, who is professionally trained to help.
  2. Awareness is important – we need to raise awareness and to flag up any discernible signs that someone may be depressed.
  3. Body: It is important to take care of the body – especially so in this unprecedented time of stress caused by COVID-19 – vitaminate and supplement with Vitamins B1, B12, C, A and E.; start walking and incorporate cadio-vascular activities; get enough sleep and rest.
  4. Spirit: Spiritual Wellness – the Lord God never abandons His children. Find time to read the scriptures and pray, especially during periods of difficulty adn dry-ness; Connect regularly with a trusted Spiritual Director.
  5. Community: The Community is needed for connection, compassionate listening, prayer, emotional support, and accountability. The Community is also the first line of defence and needs to notice very acutely any signs of depression, so as to intervene early with help.

Some Don’ts:

  1. Try to fix the situation.
  2. Be so eager to offer a solution that we are not listening effectively to the person who may be sharing.
  3. Judge and be presumptuous.
  4. Use sarcasm and make unnecessary comments so as to get your viewpoint across.

Suicide is preventable. As a Christian Community, we are better than leaving anyone behind.

Some helplines:

Samaritans of Singapore:

24-hour Hotline:
1800-221 4444

Email Befriending:
pat@sos.org.sg

Text Messaging:
m.me/SamaritansofSingapore

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Singapore Association of Mental Health:

1800-283-7019

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Family Life Society

Tel: +65 6488 0278
Email: fls@familylife.sg
Web: http://www.familylife.sg/

 

By the Grace of God,

Brian Bartholomew Tan

 

References

Catholic Church (n.d. (a)). CCC. 2258. Catechism of the Catholic Church. Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana.

 

Catholic Church (n.d. (b)). CCC. 2280. Catechism of the Catholic Church. Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana

 

Catholic Church (n.d. (c)). CCC. 2281. Catechism of the Catholic Church. Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana

 

Catholic Church (n.d. (d)). CCC. 2282. Catechism of the Catholic Church. Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana

 

Catholic Church (n.d. (e)). CCC. 2283. Catechism of the Catholic Church. Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana

 

Farrow, M. (2019). Suicide is on the rise – What can the Catholic Church do to help? Catholic News Agency. Retrieved October 16, 2020, from https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/suicide-is-on-the-rise—what-can-the-catholic-church-do-to-help-94385

 

Ministry of Social and Family Development. (n.d.) Suicide and Attempted Suicide in Singapore. Retrieved October 16, 2020, from https://www.msf.gov.sg/media-room/Pages/Suicide-and-attempted-suicides-in-Singapore.aspx

 

Samaritans of Singapore. Learn about Suicide Quick Facts. Retrieved October 16, 2020, from https://www.sos.org.sg/learn-about-suicide/quick-facts