Waiting for the LORD is uber tough and verily difficult.

For the past 6 years, I have been moving listlessly from job to job, trying to find the best fit. I have been consciously seeking out a job or career that would bring about flourishing and fulfilment, yet inevitably have settled for something lesser. I have been in my current occupation in a non-profit organisation for a year and 2 months and again those same relentless feelings of restless yearning, of ennui are stirring. The seasons seem to be changing, but not yet.

A part of me desires to move on, knowing intrinsically that there is something waiting for me, that is better and more suitable. A part of me is wondering whether it is just my ego speaking, and another part of me fears the drudgery of having to apply for jobs and go for interviews, starting from ground zero and from scratch again.

Having been through close to a year of unemployment in 2015 was a sobering and painful experience. There were escalating defaults on bills that needed to be paid off and I chalked up an exponential amount of credit card debt, which until today I am through God’s Grace and Providence paying off.

However, as I look back at the 34 years of my life, these years and the things that happened to me were necessary to prepare for what is to come. God in His tender mercy was and is doing the impossible – letting me be emptied of myself so that He could fill me with Him; pruning and cutting away the branches that did not bear fruit; and stripping away the falsities of pride and the lies that I had told myself and perpetuated.

God in His goodness never abandoned me.

Those 2 years in that local company selling chocolate as a 2-bit salesman – taught me the skill of how to tie beautiful bows that I may now use to bless others. Those years teaching in the mainstream schools in 2012 and 2014 provided me with the knowledge of the current syllabi which, (and never would I have imagined this,) is necessary for my current portfolio in this current organisation that I am working in. Grace is never wasted. I do not know the reason why I am in this place for this time, nor would I fully comprehend why I had to make pitstops in these places, but God has a plan for me that is greater and which surpasses all imagination.

There is something inspiring in the Faith Chronicles of Abraham seen in Genesis chapters 17 to 21. Abraham was a man of Great Faith, but he presented with initial doubt that the promise of the Lord would be fulfilled in Sarah and he. He did not wait on the Lord and took matters into his own hands. He slept with Hagar, who bore Ishmael. It was only 14 years later that Sarah finally bore Isaac and brought the Lord’s promise to fruition. While those 14 years seemed like a long time chronologically, it prepared Abraham to trust completely in the Lord’s plan and providence, so that when it came to the Lord testing Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, Abraham could say confidently, “The Lord Himself, will provide the ram for the sacrifice.” Coincidentally, the number 14 is echoed in Salvation History: King David came into being 14 generations after Abraham, and Jesus was born 14 generations after King David.

Waiting on the LORD may not make sense to our finite minds. It may even seem impossible, but we are exhorted by Jesus in Matthew 17:20 and Luke 17:6, to “have faith the size of a mustard seed.”

This saying may come across as odd. Here I am asking God to increase my faith, and he says, “If you only had faith, the size of a mustard seed”, however we must understand that it is impossible for us to have any faith on our own merits. Faith comes from the Holy Spirit. When we speak about having faith the size of a mustard seed, it is faith that is not in relation to our ridiculously pathetic faith, but in relation to the source of Faith, God Himself. Of course when I have even a tiny portion of God’s faith,  I can for sure move the mountains.

Sirach 2: 10-11

“Consider the generations long past and see: has anyone trusted in the Lord and been disappointed? Has anyone persevered in his fear and been forsaken? Has anyone called upon him and been ignored?

For the Lord is compassionate and merciful; forgives sins and saves in time of trouble.”

Psalm 27: 14

“Wait for the LORD, take courage; be stouthearted, wait for the LORD!”

Dear Beloveds, the LORD is not too slow to save, nor is His hand too short to save. Jesus loves you very much. When the seasons change, things happen quickly. The seeds are currently geminating and you and I may not be able to see what is ahead of us, but the LORD GOD has an impeccable timing, design, and plan. At the right time, the right door will be opened. At the right time, the harvest will be gathered. Glory be to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

By Brian Bartholomew Tan