The first Gospel of Lent was on temptation and in our community prayer session, we were asked to think about our own life’s difficulties and challenges, and how the Word of God gives our stumblings direction.
And I say, “O that I had wings like a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest;
truly, I would flee far away;
I would lodge in the wilderness;
I would hurry to find a shelter for myself
from the raging wind and tempest.”
Psalm 55: 6-8
Escape. I remember I wanted to fly away. That was foremost on my mind when I grieved over the loss of my dear husband Mike in Dec 2020. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to hibernate. I really did not know what to do. I soon realised God heard my cries.
Before they call I will answer;
While they are still speaking, I will hear.
~ Isaiah 65:24
He sent my mum to live with me. Though I wanted my space to grieve, He knew I needed her. The wardens came a-calling and I was back in church as a volunteer warden within three months though I dreaded stepping into church without Mike by my side. My mum was amazed at what good friends we had in the neighbourhood. God sent us angels. We had surprise food deliveries, lunch gatherings, help with our plumbing, transport to church, transport to bring our pets to the vet too!
“I will fight for you,
And you have only to remain still.”
Exodus 14:14
I was indeed numb for most of the year, spending most of my time behind closed doors in my bedroom. As ‘still’ as I was, God continued to pour his graces upon me. God’s plan was beyond my comprehension. The helper I booked for my husband eventually came in March 2021, just in time to look after my mum, who now gets around in a wheelchair. I was thinking of scaling down my part-time job as a teacher but I was given more classes to teach on Zoom during the pandemic. Did I spend time with my daughter Michelle? Not enough perhaps. But the holy spirit prompted me to start a diary and I think our shared diary to daddy helped her voice her sorrow and feelings, and mine too.
Thank you Lord, Jesus and Holy Spirit! You are indeed my rock and refuge through hard times.
“The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer,
my God, my rock in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”
Psalm 18:2
(Dec 2021 – We would have missed our reconciliation in Dec 2021 if not for Fr John’s soft prompting to come and anoint my mum whom he saw was in a wheelchair.)
by Karen Roberts-Fong