Having attended the previous two Inter Ministry retreats in April and Oct 2018, I was wondering what will be in store for us this time round in this retreat on 9/10 Mar 19. (Even as I write this, I just realized that 9+10=19 – looking at the dates of the retreat, even the dates were so specially picked, no wonder we were awed so much at the retreat). Honestly there was a part of me that felt like “Aiyo, another retreat…”
I must admit that it was not that I had not received much at the earlier two retreats, I know that we had to learn to co-operate and work together with our brothers and sisters from the other Ministries to build the kingdom of God. But it is truly easier said than done. There’s so much to do together across Ministries, and yet within our respective Ministry, things are never completed as well….so how?
As it turned out, these 2 days became more like a personal retreat for me instead and hearing from some of the other retreatants, it may well have been rather similar for them too.
We cannot give what we don’t have or yet to experience or put in another way, we tend to dish out from our past experiences, and so with the best of intentions, we often end up looking out for the splinter in our brother’s eye instead of removing the plank in ours (Matt 7:3-5). At the retreat, we looked at our own baggage and stuff that were weighing us down – anger, pride, self-righteousness, lust, sloth, greed etc. Even more important was what were the sources of these baggage and anchors? How badly do we want to give them up or do we prefer to cling onto them as they tend to give us some sense of security – albeit “false” no doubt.
When we broke up into small groups, Fr Terence reminded us to be open and not be afraid to share, even as one of the youths highlighted that what we share should remained within our groups. Even so, I wondered if we were truly willing to share, given that most of us would be in groups that we may not be familiar with.
Here is where I am reminded once again of the awesomeness and power of God that once HE takes control and the Holy Spirit moves, wonders happen and hearts are open. This was clearly evident when sniffling was constantly heard during the sharing and later on, seeing the number of retreatants with teary and red eyes and the glow in each other’s faces.
There was clearly much healing, understanding and love when the four of us shared our different perspectives on the sources of things that weighed us down and importantly, declaring the desire to let it go. Imagine how dumbstruck I was when the youth in my group shared an incident that happened to him and it was almost exactly what happened between my son and I. How real and awesome is that? There were more than 60 of us and Fr Terence had randomly chosen us to be in our groups. We had opportunities to share whatever and lo and behold, an almost exact incident was shared. How real and awesome is our Lord?
I know that HE is many steps, streets and avenues ahead of me/us – HE is ever loving to remind me/us of it – if only we be willing to surrender, listen to HIS voice and remain docile and covered in HIS wings. Or do we rather insist on wanting to breaking free (as the song goes) and doing our own will?
By Paul Ow